My Mother's Roses

Sign #4

As a child I vaguely remember my mother's face.She passed away when i was 3 years old. It was an 'accident' as what the authorities calls it, but my grand mom knows it well that it wasn't JUST an accident. They said that she fall's from a storey building but the autopsy result is different, it shows that it wasn't just a suicide but a murder but they don't want to mess with the other country where my mom works so they decided that it would be better to be silent. I always remember my grand moms face every time when my mothers birth day would come for it looks so forlorn that I would sometime weeps alone for my grand mom's suffering. She always said to my moms picture that she was so young, too young to be gone and leaving her daughter alone with an irresponsible father.

My Grand Mom always tell's me bedtime stories about my mothers life and the mistakes that she made so I would learn and won't repeat the same thing. I always listen cause I'm very interested about my mother. What she is? How she act.? Did she love me?

I constantly ask my grand mom about those cause I can ambiguously remember my mothers smiling face when I'm dreaming. In my dreams she always has this smile that can make me feel calm and safe, safe from the problems of the reality.

My grand mom always took great care of my mothers pink roses that was planted in our little garden. She said that it was my mothers treasure and she took great affection to her roses. But an unfortunate tragedy happen, the storm 'Sendong' came and destroyed half of our properties together with our miniature garden. My grand mom was at loss when she found out that our roses all died except for one that is in the edge of being withered. We all did our best to revive the flower and it did with a little defect, it won't bloom anymore no matter how much we waited it only have leaves with no flowers.

It was on my 14th Birth Day, everyone is excited cause for our family our 14th birth day is like turning into a responsible and independent adult where you can do decisions on yourself. 

It was early in that morning, 4:00 pm when I wake up earlier than the rest. I slowly make my way to the kitchen in mind of drinking a coffee to get rid of the chilliness of the morning. I take my coffee outside to witness the rising sun. I strolled in our mini garden and stop when I notice that the rose plant that only have leaves now have 2 buds of flower and one blooming fully. I was at awe to move and just stay still staring at the flower while the sun is slowly rising illuminating the morning dew's around me. 

And then it hit me the most intoxicating smell of roses. So strong that I dropped the coffee I've been holding. My grand mom always told me that when a deceased came they would sometime be notice by their smell and I'am 100% sure that time that it was my mom. It's like I can feel her strong yet soft hands touching my cheeks like she always do in my unclear childhood memories. I felt my tears welled up and fall in my face. 


It's like she's telling me that she would always be watching me in heaven. I felt relief and happiness as I know that she will never leave me alone, after all I'am her daughter....

Photo of the DAY;

[For the most beautiful angel in heaven....My Mom!]